Most parents keep their child’s best interests at heart when making decisions, but divorce can make things more complicated. Divorcing dads understand that there are a lot of things that factor into a judge’s decision making when determining the custody of the child going forward.
If you are a dad fighting for joint custody, sole custody, or visitation of some other kind, it is best to understand child custody laws and learn what the courts look for when deciding custody cases.
Hire a Lawyer
Your first step should be to hire a lawyer, specifically an experienced family law attorney. An attorney will be able to accurately explain the different factors that are considered by the courts during a divorce. They will help you build your case to prove that you can be an equally good parent to the judge.
This can be tricky because laws are different in each state, but your child custody lawyer should know how your judge and your court normally decide on this issue. An attorney can also help you negotiate a custody agreement with your former spouse. However, lawyers are expensive, so if you can’t afford one, you should still seek a lawyer’s advice on your situation.
Establish Paternity
While this may not be necessary in every child custody case, it is important to establish your paternity in relation to the child. You will have no legal rights to the child without establishing your paternity. The following are the main ways to establish paternity:
- Married to the mother at the time of the child’s birth
- Sign a voluntary acknowledgement of paternity (VAP)
- Prove paternity through court ordered or administrative ordered genetic testing
In most divorce and child custody cases, the paternity of the father is not put in doubt. However, if your paternity is challenged, you will need to establish paternity so that you have the legal right to pursue custody.
Determine the Primary Caregiver
One factor to consider is determining which parent is the “primary caregiver” for the child, meaning the parent who most cares for the child, meets their needs, and accepts most responsibility
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These responsibilities include bathing, feeding, waking, arranging childcare, making appointments, going to school functions, and so on. In some cases, the tasks are split equally, or stay-at-home dads take on the bulk of the responsibilities, but in most situations, women are still likely to be the primary caregiver, even with a full-time job.
Despite your previous involvement or lack thereof, you should be taking on these daily tasks going forward in a way that works for you and your family. This will be good practice for when you are the “primary caregiver” for your child after the divorce and the judge will consider your level of responsibility with the child when determining custody.
Pay Child Support
Child support is critical to the well-being of children of divorce, so much so that parents are expected to support their children in any way possible. Judges understand that time can be tough, especially if you are recently unemployed, but you are expected to put your pride aside and make a good faith effort to pay your child support.
If you have failed to pay child support in the past, the judge may consider that when determining custody. However, you may request that the judge modify your child support agreement based on your practical income.
Be sure to stay calm and don’t let your feelings complicate your divorce. Angry people often make rash decisions based on feelings of agitation and this will likely cause trouble for you in the future. Focus on accepting your situation and staying calm during official divorce proceedings.
If you are unable to pay your child support, it is important to not simply ignore the situation. Paying something, even a small amount, is better than nothing and shows the court that you’re trying to fulfill your parental obligations. If you have trouble speaking to a judge officially about your child support payments, be persistent. You have no chance of reducing your payments if you give up.
Strengthen the Parent-Child Bond
Another factor to consider is the relationship you have with your child. Children, especially young children, typically have a stronger relationship with their mother than their father. This isn’t a reflection of the father’s parenting skills, but more of a reflection on typical gender roles. Even today, mothers are more likely to stay home or take time off work to provide for their child and, therefore, the bond between mother and child will likely be stronger during the formative years.
Because young children are often conditioned to turn to their mothers for emotional support and daily needs, it is important for fathers to be as involved as they can. If you want joint custody, make an effort to provide for your children’s needs and be available for them emotionally.
FAQ
What is the Allocation of Parental Responsibilities in Illinois?
According to Illinois law, the allocation of parental responsibilities is legal custody and involves determining the roles of each parent when it comes to making decisions regarding the health, education, and well-being of the child. This helps define the rights and responsibilities of each parent in raising the child.
Most of the time, legal custody is shared by both parents, and they have equal but different rights and responsibilities. The four main areas of parental responsibilities that are recognized by Illinois law include healthcare which involves the choice of doctor and medical treatment, education including the choice of school, religion, and extracurricular activities. Parents can share responsibilities in these four areas, or one parent may be given primary responsibility or even sole decision power in certain areas.
Disputes over the allocation of parental responsibilities must be resolved in court. When determining how to allocate parenting responsibilities, including whether one parent should have sole responsibility, the judge may consider the following factors:
- Wishes of the parents and children
- Children’s needs
- Ability of the parents to cooperate with each other
- Level of participation of each parent in previous child-related decisions
- History of abuse or neglect by either parent
- Willingness of each parent to encourage the child to have a positive relationship with the other parent
What is Parenting Time?
Parenting time is physical custody that includes the amount of time each parent spends with the child, determining the child’s primary residence, and other related issues. Parents can form an agreement on parenting time themselves or bring their case to court to have a judge decide.
Judges may consider the following factors when it comes to determining parenting time:
- Wishes of the children and parents
- Physical and mental health of the children and parents
- Level of participation of each parent in providing care in the previous two years
- Distance between parents’ homes and transportation arrangements
- Special needs of the children
- Risks of abuse or neglect
In most cases, parents are presumed to be able to care for their children and the parenting time is split fairly, regardless of the allocation of parental responsibility. However, restrictions may be put in place if there are any concerns for the safety or well-being of the children while in the care of one of the parents. In these cases, parenting time may be required to be supervised.
What is a Parenting Plan?
A parenting plan is a document that outlines the rights and obligations of each parent, allocation of parental responsibilities, parenting time schedule, and other details concerning the care and parenting of the children. The goal of a parenting plan is to help the parents raise their children together while ensuring the safety and best interests of the children.
The following details may be included in a parenting plan:
- How the parents should communicate with each other
- Transportation arrangements for parenting time
- Schedule for parenting time, including holidays and vacations from school
Divorcing parents can form a parenting plan together to submit to the court or if they cannot agree, each parent can submit their own parenting plan and ask a judge to determine the best terms of the plan.
Can Child Custody Agreements be Modified?
It is possible to request changes in child custody agreements in Illinois if a significant change in circumstance has occurred since the original agreement. Changes that can lead to a modification in child custody include the remarriage of a parent, a parent moving to a new home, new work hours for one of the parents, changes in the school schedule of the child, and any other changes that can affect the child’s relationship to the parents or their well-being.
Making modifications to child custody agreements is generally prohibited in Illinois for the first two years after the agreement is issued. Exceptions are made for situations in which the children may be at risk of harm due to abuse or neglect. Parenting time can be changed at any time, but this is usually only approved if there are significant circumstantial changes, and the changes are made in the best interests of the children.
Are Mothers Favored in Child Custody Cases in Illinois?
In Illinois, the law is gender-neutral which means that there is no preference given to the mother or father when determining the allocation of parental responsibilities or parenting time. The courts will evaluate each case individually and make decisions based on the circumstances and the best interests of the children. Judges will focus more on factors such as the involvement of each parent in caring for the child, the ability of each parent to provide a safe and stable living situation, the ability of the parents to be able to cooperate with each other, and any physical or mental health issues affecting the parents rather than the gender of the parents.
What are the Rights of the Father in Illinois?
Once paternity has been established, fathers have the same rights to their children as the mother when it comes to allocation of parental rights, parenting time, placement, and child support. Once a child custody order is in place, mothers cannot legally deny a father access to their children. Mothers also cannot refuse a court-ordered paternity test to establish paternity.
Contact Us
For many fathers, bias towards women in custody battles is an unfortunate reality. However, there are still options, including reaching out to a child custody attorney who can help you negotiate custody agreements during your divorce. The attorneys at Allen Gabe Law, P.C. provide such services and are committed to helping fathers during custody battles.
Give us a call at 847-241-5000, ext. 121 or fill out a contact form to schedule an initial consultation.
